seeingscarlette

 I have always lived on music. Felt the rhythm thumping in time with the beat of my heart, known that every breath I takes makes beautiful music. To me, the interweaving of a melody and harmony, the dynamic, and especially the beat, is more than just a sound. Even in the womb, I was in love with rhythm. I loved heavy metal, played really loud, my favorite was Van Halen. My mom tells me all the time the story of a concert and a drunken dj that talked too much, and the more he talked the more I kicked, until finally my poor mother couldn't take the attack on her insides and my dad had to go up and demand he start playing some music. I have seen

all your jokes, your laugter and games are like pins into a voodoo doll, and it's my hair that hangs the rags. perhaps if a smiled more, if i laughed if i pretended everythingin the world was okay, i would feel your love. maybe if we talked more, i took the time to pretend i cared, to listen and exchange like normal people do. possibly if i could erase my doubt, truly believe what i know wont ever happen, cant ever actually come to be. but the ifs are nevers. and the definates are here to stay. im just so incredibly sorry it has to end this way.